Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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