didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
