For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
