my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
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It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
God, I missed his penis.
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