It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
