id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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