He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
