hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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