Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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