Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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