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My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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