i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
