so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
