On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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