yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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