I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There's a naked man in my car right now.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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