i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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