I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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