Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
