When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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