What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
