We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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