So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
