You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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