i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
