What did we do last night that was yellow?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
