I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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