I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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