Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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