just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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