i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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