She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
