Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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