Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
there is glitter all over my balls
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