Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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