The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
