I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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