I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Less talking, more tequila
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
