What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
