I wanna passion pit in your ass
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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