Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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