Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize