So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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