I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
