it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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