Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
