I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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