you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
