dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
