when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
