I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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