Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
