And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
