why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
