There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
