so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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