You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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