And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
