when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
